On to: Culture Stuff | Glossary | Music Stuff | Psychopathy | Introduction | Short Story

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Let me begin by saying that this is a very difficult topic to handle in a worldwide forum. No matter what I write, my words will anger someone, frighten someone else and inspire yet others. Hopefully, I will at least get my readers to think seriously about their own values. For instance, what do you think about this as a solution to the psychopathy problem? Only a fool tries to please everyone... and I am no fool!

Psychopathy is usually associated with criminal and/or immoral behavior, especially with "career criminals"- those who typically engage in more than one type of crime and have been doing so for a long time. It seems to be the foundation of a career criminal's personality, upon which all the destructive, antisocial behavior is built. Immediately, someone will jump up and yell out that criminality is culturally defined. That is true. The continuüm of acceptable-unacceptable behavior varies widely across cultures. However, there are some behaviors - murder for example, which are widely held to be unacceptable (I know Margaret Mead deserves a citation here, but I forget out of which book I took the fact! Sorry [adjective #3], Margaret. Yet, I think it might have been in her book, "The Arab Mind", but I'll have to verify that as well as add the book to the bibliography!). Telling lies may be considered impolite but excusable one place, while seen as a major crime elsewhere. For our purposes here, I will focus my attention on the perceptions of "western" cultures, particularly those of the USA and Germany, as I am most familiar with them.

Criminals are typically very "street smart". So one clue of psychopathy is if the person boasts about being able to outwit others (often seen together with a belief that others are stupid). It shows something of the way he or she operates on a daily basis. A perhaps related clue is known as the "duping delight" (Hare, 1993). (I believe the term itself was coined [verb #3] by psychologist Paul Ekman*). The person will try to trick people somehow, or maneuver people into believing strange or outrageous things; making up stories just for the fun of putting something over on someone. Subjects to particularly look out for would be things that place him ostensibly "above the law" - somewhere the psychopath likes to hang out mentally. So, you might hear he is - or at least has ties to - a secret/special operative for one of our federal investigatory agencies! There will be no necessity to lie, but a lie is told nonetheless, just to see if he or she can get away with it. If they do get away with it (or are successful with their trickery), it excites them (neurally! [adjective]), strongly reinforcing their narcissistic delusion, in which others are stupid and they are superior. If they don't get away with it, if you confront them with their lies, they act as if nothing just happened! They simply ignore the current social situation of being caught in a lie and continue to make up more lies in an attempt to patch things over - or they may just let it stay as is, waiting for your next move. What's it gonna be?

In my opinion, the psychopath represents humanity gone haywire [adjective]. For this reason, amongst others, I do not wish to handle the topic of the psychopath's presence in society like other behavioral writers do. I don't intend wasting any of my time on efforts to rehabilitate them (for instance, Wong & Hare, 1998-2005; an admirable pioneering attempt, but inadequate for personality work. The plan presented in this book, entitled "Guidelines for a Psychopathy Treatment Program" focuses mainly on the reduction of violence. Any personality improvement seen is merely a mild side effect of the therapy situation and behavioral modification of the violence. In other words, you just end up with a less violent scoundrel).

 

***Links to more sites on psychopathy***

♀ ♀ ♀ An Amorphous Page, Dedicated to Feminism ♀ ♀ ♀

 

My intent on this page is not as academic as it is political; I wish to educate and warn you the reader of some of the more common signs that the person in question - usually a male - is someone you should detach from ...and quickly! The sooner you can detect a troublesome person, the better off you will be. One quick check is your placement of him or her on the "asshole scale". Now remember, not every jerk or idiot is necessarily psychotic! However, many psychopaths do represent an extreme form of the "asshole [#2]" personality type, they've just learned to suppress it most of the time and appear to be nice, normal, even charming people. Many are, in fact, developmentally stuck in their early years, still fighting the battles of authority and parental control over them! [Subject/Author Note: By the way, you should keep in mind that not all psychopaths are assholes, just as not all assholes are psychopaths. Yet, what an overlap! ALSO: this paragraph has been quoted by several people out there - translated into different languages even. However, I have now edited my most quoted passage with the exchange of one word: conceal was switched to suppress on 30 June, 2022.]

As you read this page, you can think of the Bugs Bunny cartoon from 1946,* "Hair-Raising Hare". There is a scene (almost six minutes in) where Gossamer, the hairy orange monster, is waiting to ambush Bugs while hiding in a suit of armor down the hallway. The problem for Gossamer is that the armor does not hide himself completely. There are tufts of orange hair sticking out of many of the joints and openings of the suit! Well, Bugs indicates to the audience with his thumb, that it's easy to spot the monster hiding in the armor. That's what you will hopefully do after reading all of this; you might just come to see through the various disguises worn by psychopaths, by knowing what to look for; in this example, orange hair. Throw him in the can!

Consider an individual's occupation, as it can hold some predictive information about the person. For one, if they're not on disability, unemployment insurance, workman's comp or other such things, yet are unemployed - Run Like Hell!!! - especially if times are good. Otherwise, considering the difficulty psychopaths show in normal social relationships, they tend to gravitate toward jobs that let them work with things, requiring a limited amount of human contact. Such occupations include auto mechanic,* carpenter, long-distance truck driver and construction work, although there they may need to work as a member of a team to some extent. Now I'm not saying that your plumber is necessarily a psychopath; psychos can be found in all occupations. I'm just saying that the probability of finding one increases in jobs that revolve around things rather than people. They also gravitate toward positions of power - regardless of the social demands; these include politics, school principal, psychotherapist, peace officer, corporate CEO, etc. [Subject Note: The red flag of unemployment gets diluted to pink in hard economic times, since there is then an unusual number of people walking around unemployed.]

As for drug usage, many psychopaths who do indulge, typically love alcohol and/or methamphetamine. Sometimes it may seem like they're using them both as sort of an on-off toggle switch, between waking and sleeping. I suspect the "meth" helps give them the neural activation they crave; gaining little or no security or comfort from the past, they must constantly seek excitement in the now. They get bored easily. I am told that methamphetamine also enhances sexual behavior - which is then a strong reinforcer for continued drug usage. It can really make them think some bizarre thoughts, though, as in a meth-addicted psychopath's duping delight subjects. Habitual users of meth will likely have significant dental problems at an early age. So, if someone is only, say 50, and has no teeth left it's a good possibility that the person is a methamphetamine abuser! Now whether he or she is also a psychopath remains to be determined. [Subject Note: I've been told (and shown) that heavy "crack" usage also contributes to early dental problems.]

Another red flag for psychopathy is whether the person finished High School or not. This is significant, since only a small percentage of "dropouts" really do well in life. If the person you're dating [#6] claims to have graduated, ask from which school - and quietly verify it. If you discover he or she did not finish school, find out why. Was she pregnant by the end of her junior year? Was he expelled for carrying an assault weapon down the hallway? The reason someone leaves school before finishing will usually tell you something of his or her character. In my own father's case, he left school at 16 I believe, in order to help support himself and his mother, my grandfather having died when my dad was just 9. Either during or after his service in the US Navy for World War II, my father, Walter Windish, finished school and then together with his GI Bill, he earned a BS [Box 495, last entry], an MS and ultimately a PhD in bacteriology from Rutgers University in New Jersey, USA. (BS, 1950; MS, 1957; PhD, 1965)

Take things slow and enjoy the trip, since once a woman marries a psycho, it is far too late. By then, he'll know way too much about her life and be legally bound to her. So, when she eventually does him this huge injustice (like saying "no" to any of his selfish desires or confronting him about his flagrant immaturity), the big brat inside him gets all bent out of shape and he proceeds to "get her back for that", "teach her a lesson", and "let her know who's really the boss now". It's as if the toddler can finally go one on one with Mom! They will often try to find a way to use the information you told them about yourself to hurt you somehow - or they may even become physically violent.

For this and other reasons, I must inform you of "the one year rule". Don't go to a high level of commitment or disclosure for at least a year, if you wish to be absolutely sure about him or her. Certainly don't move in together or get married too quickly! Their parasitic nature craves such legal connections to you. Furthermore, if he can quickly impregnate you - and you bring it to term - he's locked into your life for 18 years, whether you like it or not!

Patience. Even the most deceptive psychopaths will lose their masks within a year, as it takes a lot of effort to keep up false appearances. This reminds me of what I once heard a woman scream at her psycho boyfriend: "I knew it wouldn't last two years!" Apparently, she had a personal rule not to marry someone before two years of relationship had gone by ...right on! Another observation I can share with you is that several people I've talked to said that their boyfriends/husbands have a three month cycle. I believe it's what some people call the mean-sweet cycle. Once they forgive them for some horrendous behavior and take them back, these men maintain good behavior for only three months at most. After that, they go back into their out-of-control/forgive-and-forget drama which always hurts your feelings or chips away at your self-esteem.

During that first year of relationship, many clues often go unnoticed or even ignored. Conversely, it is necessary to evidence the presence of several signs, before coming to a "diagnosis" of him or her being a psychopath! It's reasonable to assume that as more and more signs and signals are observed, the more likely the diagnosis will be a fitting one. There are, of course, official psychological tests already developed to diagnose psychopathy. More about them can be found here on Dr. Hare's website, although I don't believe he's developed an "asshole scale" yet! One dead giveaway is their parasitic lifestyle. If you're dealing with a psychopath, he or she may well ask you for money in some form soon in the friendship. Even if it's just "a couple of bucks for gas",* during those first few days you will probably be asked for something monetary. Yet, they do occasionally have their own money; remember that 1970 song by the Archies, "Waldo P. Emerson Jones"? ...Yes, I said the Archies! It's probably the angriest sounding song you'll ever hear from them. (The Archies, 1970.)

Parenthetically, many consider themselves to be excellent musicians. These guys usually play the guitar, but run out of material in about 15 minutes! They then start repeating what they've already played. They're all technique and no soul. Keep in mind now, it's not the running out of material that is somewhat indicative of psychopathy, but rather the narcissistic belief that he or she is an excellent musician, when it is not the case. At any rate, tread lightly, as this may be my weakest clue.

Here's a cute little Wallpaper for you, in .bmp format. It's a photo I took of my desk when I was an undergraduate in the spring of 1983. (It is of a psychology book, Lester (1982) I believe, and a cup of hot cocoa. At the time, I was occupying Stockton's Housing 2's room J-207, the last single on the right. Hi current occupant!) Click here if you would prefer the Wallpaper in .jpg format (lesser quality, smaller file and a quicker download).

One simple clue is that the person may not adhere to common social customs. Manners [#5] may be lacking, the person gives the impression of being somewhat of a slob, he or she may seem unconcerned if ever late meeting you for something, and will rarely if ever apologize unless prompted. And if prompted, you can imagine the sincerity that will come with the apology!* Sometimes, their personal deception style may have them over-apologizing - apologizing too often. This also shows insincerity.

Time and time again, I've heard of - and observed first hand - family, religion and morality being used to stick the mask of normalcy on the psychopathic face. You may be told you're just like family - early on in the friendship! (Some people call this being "fast friends" - a statistically unlikely event, yet he will want you to believe it's happening with him! Just more narcissism.) The person may even have a wife and kids! Or, more likely, an ex-wife and maybe one kid, because by then it had finally become obvious that the relationship was going nowhere. They may boast about reading "the Bible" or actually be able to quote scripture. Yet, if someone has to tell you that he's moral, chances are he isn't! They tend to tell you positive [#2] things about themselves, rather than show you things through their behavior. More orange hair!

Psychopaths will typically rely on the frequency of words (they talk a lot), since they have difficulty empathizing with and using the intensity of emotion (see my frequency-intensity effect glossary item for more). These two observations together give the impression of them "knowing the notes but not the music". That means of course, that they know what to say so that normal people will develop a particular understanding, but they have no grasp of the emotional depth the others experience upon processing the words. For instance, they are keenly aware that allegations of child abuse are to most people, horrific. Psychopaths will have no problem in making such false accusations, simply in an attempt to tarnish someone's otherwise good reputation or to sway a courtroom decision, etc. Yet, they will likely have no concept of what such a victim goes through physically and emotionally, the guilt a mother may feel for not having known or helped, or even of what you're feeling just now reading this.

With "the frequency of words" is also where you get the slick talkers from; the intensity of a smooth-talking con man. The better grasp of the language the more successful a con [#4] can be. This alone can be a hint: if soon after meeting, you feel confident in the integrity of the other person, you might be being conned! This is significant, since psychopaths almost always attempt to set up your perceptions of them right from the start, or at least early on. Most psychopaths can't do the give and take relationship dance very well, so they will try to quickly construct a favorable picture of themselves in your mind, using words. Now you may be justified in saying that everyone tries to give a good impression from the start, but I counter [verb #1] with the observation that you will be able to tell the difference when you see it... hopefully.

Still another red flag is that many of them will seem... "smirky". They have a smirky kind of grin in common and some seem to exhibit an antsy [#2]* or jittery kind of "baseline energy output" [Collins, noun #6] in their movements. I think the smirk comes from the infantile quality of gratification their behavior gets reinforced with, while the apprehensive baseline energy output could be indicative of their perceived need to "deceive on their feet". They're always sensing that they have to size up and continuously monitor their current target. So, if you feel like he's keeping tabs on you - to a pathological extent - you might want to start worrying about how to get away from him (see "The Loser" link, four paragraphs below).

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The psychopath may be jealous or seem paranoid. Jealousy is, in fact, its own flavor of paranoia. A classic clue is that the person will argue ad hominem to defend or rationalize his or her actions! Simply put, he or she will heatedly combat "the attacker" (be it a parent, friend, judge, society, etc) with name-calling and finger-pointing of some kind, in order to get attention off his or her own behavior. It is also in this vein that the psychopath usually works on his or her intimates, constantly implying a lack of skills, looks, knowledge, etc, on the part of the other. The danger here (particularly for women since they tend to blame internally, whereas men tend to blame externally), is buying into his or her attempts to bring you down - to "level the self esteem playing field", so that they can actually have a chance at relative ego enhancement!*

Other signals are either a hypersensitivity to criticism or being totally oblivious to it. Usually, the psychopath will be hypersensitive to criticism; they can dish it out but can't take it themselves. They get angry when confronted with their shortcomings. Big sign. Otherwise, they may seem totally unaffected by criticism. This points to their utter lack of caring about the opinions of others. At any rate, the psychopath will likely be extreme in reaction; there's rarely a middle ground for them.

Psychopaths just love prowling the Internet! They are able to remain hidden behind the technology as they indulge in their cyberbullying, hacking and cracking. They'll back away from a fair fight; they prefer a rigged game. (Do they use video game "cheats"?) Such people are probably sore losers and as such, will not engage with you unless they are 99.9% sure they will be victorious. Hence, we see the typical male psychopath victimizing women and men of smaller stature. In other words, inside, the common psychopath is simply an immature little coward who feels a need to bully others in order to boost both his ego and, I believe, his pride in himself! ...I just don't understand why the entertainment industry makes such a big deal out of the "bad boy" character. Tarantino? Boooooo!*

They can be quite clever and deceptive, yet you will get the clues if you're tuned-in to them. However, once you do sense trouble it is a whole different story how to get out of it, while maintaining your financial and emotional freedom. [Author Note: I strongly suggest you also read this red flag page on "The Loser". About two thirds of the way down there is a section on how to disengage from them, called "Guidelines for Detachment".]

If you do slip, miss the signals, overlook the signs etc, and end up totally screwed by one of these "Untermenschen" (by the way, that's the German word for "subhumans"), be sure to find a "psychopath recovery" discussion group for support. You will need to hear the stories of others, or you may just start sounding like a rambling paranoid idiot yourself! There are lots of such groups on the Internet, and two good ones are located at http://www.aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/ and http://www.psychopath-research.com. Depending on how "shell-shocked" you feel, you may also wish to look into an in-person support group in your local area. Womens' shelters are good places to ask - and not just for female victims, either. If your situation involves a stalking, see Proctor (2003).

***Links to more sites on psychopathy***

*** One Woman's Story of Persecution by the Executor of her Parents' Estate ***

What can be kept in mind is that the majority of a psychopath's interactions with you will, on some level, be geared to get - not to give.* Early in this one way "relationship" their target is simply information... you find yourself talking a lot while what you hear back from him or her periodically sounds great, culturally speaking. Even when apparently giving, their motivation is to receive - usually something for nothing. With information, you consistently tell the truth about your life and feelings about things, while if you look at the psychopath's verbal behavior, you will see a lot of lies being told. Because of this, my best advice is to verify what you hear. At least the big stuff. For instance, a newly encountered psycho may wish to impress you by saying something like, "...then when I got out of the army, I got my MBA from Harvard...." Super guy! ...right? Well these "facts" are easy to verify; if they don't check out [intransitive verb #1b], you'll know you have trouble. [Author Note: By the way, that army/Harvard quote was taken from a reënactment on the FOX television series "America's Most Wanted" (amw.com), which was later on the Lifetime cable channel, but is now off the air. Hi John!]

With material goods, this motive is exposed when they threaten to take back a gift or to even destroy something he or she made for you. The gift was not a gift at all! It was more like an unspoken bribe for you. Their expectation upon giving it, I suspect, was that you selflessly continue to fulfill all of his or her emotional and material needs - or else! Quite infantile, wouldn't you say? Consider that if a baby is hungry or has soiled itself, it will negatively reinforce your parenting behavior with ear-splitting screams and cries. In other words, be on the lookout for someone who is not an infant or child, yet negatively reinforces parenting behavior in you! Such parenting behaviors might include the setting of personal boundaries or providing various types of resources.

That's another thing common in many psychopaths: their sense of entitlement is all out of whack. They feel inappropriately entitled to stuff - typically your stuff! I find it's here that one gets a clear glimpse of their child-level perspective on life. A small child (say 15 to 24 months) expects to get and get and get, while not being expected to give all that much toward the household maintenance; except perhaps learning to use a toilet so as to make less work and expense for the grownup people around. In adult relationships, this state of affairs can lead to a man never having a job, expecting the woman to work and do whatever he wishes, whenever he wishes it. Such selfishness can - and too often does - lead to sexual assault and battery [#4]. And as if that weren't enough, this inflated sense of entitlement of theirs even extends to punishing you any way they see fit, for however long they see fit, and for any reason they find suitable.* They enjoy exercising power over others. I believe they enjoy this as it is a direct opposite of what they probably experienced during their miserable childhoods.

Curiously, it is indeed that larger-than-life picture of themselves that can give them away. As Laura Knight-Jadczyk of "the Quantum Future Group" states in her work, What is a Psychopath?: "The psychopath is primarily distracted and impressed by his own grandiose self-representation, which often leads to him unwittingly telling people things that lead to his detection." (This quote is found almost a quarter of the way down the page.)

Since many psychopaths are so shockingly immature and selfish, that while interacting with normal people, they sense they really have to hide this fact for as long as they can. (Consider the chatting circle of men way below.) For psychopaths, personality deception is long-practiced and their narcissistic resentment of the past runs deep. I'll even venture to say that this personality deception begins as soon as the future psychopath realizes that he or she can think bad things about others and no one can "hear" them.* (In the coming years, I believe it will become painfully obvious that their sheer numbers are on the rise, possibly even gaining in their percentage of the general population.)

Another sign of psychopathy is a tendency toward passive aggression. This is how they can enjoy being aggressive and hateful (to confirm their self image!), yet quietly get away with it. For example, he will see that your tire is almost flat, but will say nothing to you about it. You will then have trouble with it later, while it would have been easy for him to help you out by saying something. Instead, it gives him the opportunity to be the hero as he leaps to your aid, thoroughly enjoying all of the excitement the occurrence precipitates [verb #1]!* I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he's the one who stuck that nail in your tire to begin with. I personally know of a psychopath committing house arson - at one in the morning - in such a way that he was also the person who put the fire out and hence save everybody. Wow! [Back to the future, time warp.]

There are as many paths to deviancy as there are deviants. Along those paths, though, are similar events. [Subject Note: My dilated use of the term "events" includes the manifestation of various types of people.] For instance, while aging through the childhood years,* a person may experience continuous disappointments while never developing much of a sense of being able to control anything that happens to or around him or her. (Some such common, causative events* these days include the conditions created in the wake of divorce, being raised by grandparents or other relatives, ongoing domestic violence against yourself, a sibling or both, and the substance abuse of one's caregivers.) A victim mentality will likely emerge as a gestalt of all the negative memcons (memory constructures), and this would then shape thought patterns to blame others for the bad things that happen to them in the future. Especially likely targets of blame are the person's intimates. Other popular targets include "the government" and other power-wielding groups and individuals. [Subject/Author Note: When I use the term "mentality" here, I mean it as described by Paul MacLean, 1990, who calls it "mentation"; ie. pages 12 and 424. Go ahead. Find this book, gather up your academic courage and dive right in!] [RIP Paul D. MacLean, 1913-2007]

One major form of inoculation against psychopathy is effective parenting. A parent can be available to promote self-discipline, provide success experiences and to help the child cope with loss and other negative events outside his or her sphere of influence or control. It is unfortunate for us, that they never seem to realize the actual sources of their anger at the world - ie, their former caregivers' behavior and other events which occurred during their formative years! Instead what happens, is that they come to see the world with a generalized, free-floating anger, just waiting to be elicited by anyone who steps into their line of sight, or displays aspects of their many prejudices. Those of you who can read German may wish to look at Barth (1996) in order to get a better idea of this phenomenon. Pay particular attention to the interview segment at the end of the article. Get it directly from the source! If you would like to read Der Spiegel's online version of the article now, follow this link.

This brings me to yet another clue on how to spot a psychopath: talking about the childhood years! Granted, some people may feel clumsy or on the spot when asked about their childhoods, but will usually talk about it anyway. However, if caught off guard, psychopaths will likely look down, hesitate, try to change the topic, or will simply stay cool and make something up. Furthermore, if they've read a web page like this one, they may actually have a fabricated happy childhood all ready to go - and launch into telling you about it firmly and without hesitation! The point is, that they commonly try to avoid the reality of the matter entirely, since the Truth often activates traumatic or depressive memories (entropic memcons). Many people are typically not emotionally mature enough to face such painful memories head on, in order to overcome them. From this, they may turn to constant "self-medication" [#3] to avoid the encroachment of reality altogether! All I can say about this is that assuming a psychopath's verbal behavior is riddled with lies, you can try improving your ability to decipher peoples' non-verbal behavior (posture, tone of voice, the amount of personal space they allow you, addictive behaviors,* what you see in their eyes, etc), and again, use the one year rule. If you suspect you're hearing lies... verify, verify, verify!

Now, no responsible discussion of western psychopathy would be complete without at least a mention of sex and violence. I theorize, that while having sex, the average male psychopath will simply treat the female vagina as a masturbation vessel [#2]. ( Creepy, huh ladies?!) They have no real capacity to share intimate, adult feelings; they just use other peoples' bodies to mechanically "get their rocks off"! As for violence, the psychopath employs what has been called "instrumental violence". This means that they simply use coercion, force and violence as tools to get a particular job done. There's rarely any emotion present; he just compels others to comply to his sick little world and give him what he needs or desires. Again, ...infantile. [Subject Note: This being considered infantile is significant. It suggests that the moderate to severe psychopaths may be experiencing "early pathology", which is generally more difficult to change than later occurring disorders. Also, Kobbé, (1989) relates to this in a way. It discusses the difficulties one can run into when working with people who went mentally ill while they were still quite young, but the article is in German!]

Psychopaths use deceptive behavior in many social situations. This is one reason why they are so difficult to treat - if they ever even come in for therapy! In the psychopath's mind, he or she is not doing anything wrong; if there's a problem, it's your problem, not theirs. They're just having fun and enjoying themselves. Furthermore, as Dr. Hare points out (Hare, 1993, p. 198-200), all they do in traditional therapy is learn even more about human nature, and then use this knowledge to continue to pillage and plunder humanity! Short of constant institutionalization or invasive neurosurgery, I see no effective (and currently legal) way to protect society from their behavior. Unfortunately for all involved, they typically do not stop their destructive behavior until they are either dead or in jail.*

An American Obsession...the Psychopath
has formally concluded.

 

Afterbirth:

Please look at this page, too. On it you will see one woman's attempt to discredit me in some way. I take it as a compliment. She is telling me that I do know what I'm talking about when I write about psychopaths. Also, two external links I present on this page are to a group thought by some to be a cult. All I can say to that is, "Oh well, even cultists can come up with a good quote now and then."

Interestingly, a psychopath's public strategy with an adversary is usually to discredit the other person. They don't confront the facts you bring up, but rather try to make you look not credible. It's in fact a clear projection of their self-knowledge of being false, deceptive, worthless people themselves!

 

 

Afterthoughts: You can follow me on Twitter (@kcwindish); yet I hardly ever tweet anything. However, I have attached my FaceBook feed to my Twitter account. I also accept FaceBook friend requests when I feel it's appropriate. However, I will "un-follow" you if you bury me in religious or addiction recovery stuff. Feel free to just follow me on FaceBook without us being FaceBook Friends: ken.windish.la ... almost all of my FB postings are classified public.

***Links to more sites on psychopathy***

♀ ♀ ♀ An Amorphous Page, Dedicated to Feminism ♀ ♀ ♀

Savior? ...Are you nuts?!

...no, perhaps just a wee bit cynical. Now what purpose could mean-spirited, ruthless, non-empathic behavior possibly serve our species - and the continuation thereof?

To begin answering that question, let's consider the proposition that natural selection (Darwin, 1958) doesn't care about morality - only numbers - and focus on the relationship of the availability of resources vs. the human demand and competition for those resources. As time goes on, our fuel resources (bodily and environmental) get used up. However, over the years, we have reproduced many other human furnaces who also wish to burn up resources because it has the potential for creating "good feelings", resulting in protropic memcons (positive-feeding memory constructures). The more you can get your hands on, the broader potential experience you can look forward to in life.

Long, long ago, when there were relatively few people sparsely distributed over the Earth, human life was uncommon, and hence, precious. Survival was greatly enhanced through coöperation and group living. Positive social behavior was a must in order to keep a group cohesive. Then time simply took its toll. No one can seriously argue that the human race has difficulty reproducing itself. Particular individuals, perhaps; but the group as a whole - no problem! Eventually clans, states, nations and alliances came into being. As the human population approaches more insect population-appropriate numbers, the individual is somehow valued less and less. For instance, long ago it may have been difficult to find someone at all who can do the job. Nowadays, the boss might not give firing someone a second thought, as there exist many other competant people who can fill the position. The only trick today is to find someone who will get along with everyone else and operate well within the office culture.

For a while, this coöperative living was a good thing for our species. It allowed us to feel a sense of security and community. We were free to explore many things other than the routine maintenance of hearth and family. It enabled us to specialize and make "progress" in using the available resources of the planet. However, we are now at a critical point in our evolution. I believe that the number of people here today far exceeds the capacity of the planet to sustain us all equally on most levels or planes of existence. (For example, if everyone in the world were basically secure in food and housing, that would be equal on one level of existence. I believe that at least this level of global equality is achievable with what we have today.)

The world over, the availability of resources is dwindling. As the global human population continues to grow, positive social behavior will cease to be a productive strategy for survival altogether. It is at this point, that the psychopath's behavior could become dominant. The species continues while cultures collapse.

To reiterate one of my first ideas expressed on this page: it is my sincere hope to get you to think about what's important to you, my cherished reader.

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Let's get the negative emails out of the way first! One email I got apologized in advance for spelling errors! I have no problem with people of little education. My only problem is that if you're a High School dropout, don't go telling me you're in a Master's Program! That's all; own it. Be who you are; show what you have.

S.H. wrote to tell me that he believes me "...to be a hate spreader." He adds that I diagnose psychopathy "willy-nilly" [adjective #2]. I guess that means I didn't describe his personal manifestation of the illness. (If it's not all about him, it's wrong!) Well, as far as the hate spreading goes, I'm actually trying to help people cut down on the hate they're forced to ingest when interacting with psychopathic individuals, by learning how to identify and avoid such people altogether. Finally, he writes: "I just don't see how your web site could help anyone." Well S.H., you're the only one!

S.I. wrote that, "On psychopathy...what you write about is DEAD ON about the behaviors of my ex. It scares the hell out of me, actually. THANK GOD, I am no longer in that mess! He had me thinking I was absolutely NUTS! I'm trying to recover emotionally from that nightmare." [Author Note: The three dots appear in the original; nothing was edited out.]

She then continues, "I'm so glad I came across the information you've presented as it is complete confirmation that I'm not entirely nuts (or all the other things he claims I am)."

S.D. had experience with someone who was "...highly abusive, manipulating, evil, jealous and mean." She writes that my essay on psychopathy "saved" her. She closed by telling me my work is important and that it helped her while on vacation in Europe. (She mentions a specific country, but for her privacy I "rounded up" to Europe.) (Also, I think what she meant by "savior" is that my work both helped her realize what had happened to her with one psychopath, and then helped her avoid another one later on vacation.)

L.P. wrote that she discovered this web page a few months prior and that she had been back a few times "just to refresh". Wow! I'm the author of a real reference work. I guess there is a lot of information packed into that little essay! When I think of it, I'm now recommending to people I meet in person that they read it at least twice. It's one of "those kinds" of works.

E.M.D. wrote "...to merely show my appreciation and to let you know that your portrayal of the psychopathic personality is remarkably accurate, having been involved with one."

Now for some Guestbook entries. Again, negative ones first. The author of entry #6 expresses skepticism about people being able to tell who was psychopathic and who wasn't. Also, he writes, "I am wondering how many of the traits of these you have?" ...not many, I assure you.

In entry #9, jm writes that he doesn't believe I should be using the words "psycho" and "psychotic". Well, first of all, "An American Obsession ... the Psychopath" is more of a political piece than an academic one. That being said, I'd like to take a little license and use the word "psycho" to describe such people. This just looks like an academic work because that's my preferred style of writing. As far as them being psychotic goes, jm doesn't believe psychopaths are ill in the same sense a schizophrenic person is. I beg to differ; it's just a matter of degree. Many if not most of the psychopaths I've come across have been at least delusional. In my opinion, that is a break with reality and hence, a form of psychosis, albeit a moderate one.

For entry #8, T.C. simply states: " Reading this has been very helpful to me as I was involved with a sociopath." In entry #10, Wishtoremainanon writes: "Not so long ago I encountered my first sociopath. This is the first site which so accurately describes this person more than any other I have visited." Now, that's certainly nice to read. She ends with, "I found that educating myself on the type of person I was dealing with was healing to my spirit and mind."

Always a pleasure to hear from the law enforcement community. In entry #11, StevenW compliments me on my "real world" handling of the subject and confirms the existence of the psychopathic smirk. Meanwhile, in entry #16, Deb K. says she has read a lot on the subject, but that I "...have by far taken it to a different level of understanding." She goes on to say that her mother is a psychopath and that she has come to "...see what I was lacking through the years and have started to heal." ...Right on.

Lea, in entry numbers 19-21, informs us that my correspondence with a suspected psychopath reminded her of something her ex would write. Then she notes parenthetically that my psychopath essay is even funny on occasion, and finally, she shares two links with us. I just love her enthusiasm!

In response to entry #23, I know what you mean about Pink Floyd, "Dogs", Puddle. Cool. That whole album is kick-ass [#5]! In entry #24, G.C. says that his father is a psychopath and that Dad seems to be a frustrated musician, too. These things make me wonder... which is worse for the psyche: having the same gender parent be a psychopath or the opposite gender one? Or are they just different flavors of the same severity? [Author Note: Now that's a legitimate research topic! All ya gotta do is find or develop an accurate, reliable psycho-metric device for measuring your definition of psyche degradation and then advertise for the appropriate subjects.]

This next piece of feedback came to me in a clever way. It was neither sent by email nor written in my Guestbook. I won't tell exactly how this got to me, for I'd be buried in a deluge of them! The message read: "It is truly a great and helpful piece of information. I am glad that you just shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing savior." I'm guessing this came from one of my readers for whom English is not his or her first language; it reads "stay us informed" instead of "keep us informed". Also, the word "savior" is used. It makes me a little uncomfortable being called savior, because of its religious undertones; besides, I feel I'm more Buddhist in philosophy, than I am Christ-like. However, I'm thrilled to be of help to any or all of you nice people out there!

I deleted original guestbook entry #15. It was from john w - 2011-04-27 06:13:34 and among other rude comments, called me a "jew scum trickster". How eloquent! And no, I'm not even Jewish. (For those for whom it is important: I am Russian-Polish on my mother's side and Austro-Hungarian on my father's. My last name is an Americanized version of the Austrian name, "Windisch".)

And finally, thank you all for reading my stuff and just Being you. I love most of the feedback I've gotten and will fine-tune myself in response, as I so desire.

 

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Self Criticism:

It took over a dozen years, but I think I'm finally getting more widely read. When the page hit count reached about 35,000, I felt I should put out a little disclaimer for my information here: A good sample size for a decent statistical analysis starts at about 30 subjects; I am drawing my ideas from "only" about 20 psychopaths and developing psychopaths I have known in my life, along with my formal education in psychology and counseling. Most of my subjects were judged (by me) to have been of the narcissistic variety. So, if there's ever a question, please go with Dr. Hare's information or someone else who has a lot of research under their belts. In addition to that, please keep in mind that this website is called syn-theory and not syn-fact.

Another self criticism I can point to is that many of my sources can seem "stale", or even old. For instance, I send the reader to 1950s era neurology articles on my glossary page! [Author Note: I just love Penfield's approach, his writing, and the historical context/Zeitgeist in which he produced his early work. Amusement park, remember?] I agree I should really update my sources for the "hard" sciences; yet, my readers should still look elsewhere for some shiny new articles on the subject of brain surgery, to read in the meantime. However, for the behavioral stuff, I find that the old sources are often still of use. (New doesn't necessarily mean better. It just means that the author had access to even more research and books, etc, and hence had an opportunity to provide us with a recent and enlightening written product!) Consider that Humankind evolves very little over the centuries; observations of human nature made a thousand years ago continue to stand as valid! People still read Confucius and Lao Tzu's stuff, right? That material is circa 2,500 years old!

More on Psychopathy:

"Transient areas" are prime hunting grounds for the psychopath. These are places like airport bars, bus stations, campgrounds, etc - anywhere where there is a steady stream of strangers to choose from. Be aware when you visit such places. Side Dish Anecdote. Another thing to keep in mind is that it is culturally normal for a man to approach a woman to "pick her up [#13 verb]". So, being selected is not as significant a clue as it is when a man approaches another man or a woman, another woman. Ya gotta wonder... why? Is the person a homosexual hitting on you, or a psychopath selecting you for victimization?! Is this same sex person bigger or stronger than you? That's something else to consider.

They seem to be fascinated with material possessions, as they've typically lost all their belongings one way or another. One common way is to lose everything in a public storage locker through non-payment of rent. They feel like losers without anything, so they go about "collecting belongings" any way they can. (Do they go "dumpster diving"? Something for nothing.) Once their masks fall off and they know there's no going back, they'll jump on the money - if there's any still available. Then some of your prize possessions you might have told them about in the past will be destroyed or stolen. Your car, if you own one, will be continuously vandalized, and you may receive a barrage of taunting phone calls or other types of hate-filled harassment.

In effect, what they're doing is channeling, (through simple transference), the deep reservoir of anger, resentment and hatred of their past onto you! Inside, he senses as though he's finally able to fully express how badly he "feels", how terrible he's had it in the past, and how you're gonna pay for it all, because you have it so great in comparison! (Surely your having takes away from his having! It's not his fault he has nothing.) Please, take none of this personally, as psychopaths are mentally ill and simply do this to their selected victims in an attempt to cope with their own impoverished past and present. They do their very best to "custom fit" their hatred to the current target's likes and personality; this makes it seem more personal and hence, destructive. So be mindful of what kind of stuff he or she is fishing for in your early conversations. Don't be surprised if you're asked what your worst fear is, because after things fall apart, he'll do his best to make it happen! ...so tell him your worst fear is something inocculous like having a bird die on your windowsill, because of the symbolism!

I suspect they subscribe to the philosophy that misery loves company, so they actually like to see people in their lives, typically their intimates, go through tough times or ordeals - even if the psychopath has to cause such events to happen, himself! (Remember the passive agression/arson paragraph above?)

Theoretically, and in my opinion, the psychopath tends to live a rich fantasy life. [Their favorite type of victim is a naïve and inexperienced, trusting, meek, mild, perhaps even timid but generally a passive one; someone who tries to avoid confrontation of any kind while not fighting back - but is well off financially, too.] If you practice "no contact" with a psychopath after his mask slips off, he'll likely have no real way of finding out the actual effect his antisocial behavior is having on you. This is where the fantasy life comes in; they have a good idea of what effect they desire and will obsessively imagine you going through this intended hell - all as a result of his grand behavior - regardless of what you're actually experiencing! Somehow, such power fantasies help them cope with their past and present. If they're delusional, this can be even more intense. They're in reality very "small" people. Infantile, in fact!

If you ever have to face them in a courtroom, their strategy will probably be a complete down-playing or outright denial of all of the charges against them, coupled with a personal attack on you and your behavior! So lawyer up and confront everything he says as if it were a lie, because it probably will be.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'll just come out and say it: I don't believe in the existence of a "genetic" psychopath. The proposition that biology is destiny - for such a complex animal as the human being - is simply ridiculous. Yes, I will agree that genetics can set up a sensitive weakness for the illness, but I still maintain that there must be favorable environmental factors active as well. What could be happening is that some psychopaths are shaped into being antisocial as infants or toddlers (pre- and early verbal stages). Early pathology could be misinterpreted as a "built in" illness by the unaware observer, one who missed seeing the shaping happen.

If you ever want to "figure out" a psychopath, try observing and empathizing with people from 0 to 5 years of age. Especially the ones who are 0 to 2! You will get an idea of the self-indulgent, selfish, self-centeredness which is rampant in the psychopath. With practice, you may even be able to predict their behavior.

Now let's imagine a group of men standing around in a circle (Onward to the Past). They've collected together there through some gravitational reason, and so it's now expected that they chat and tell something of themselves, like if they're married and what they do for a living, etc. A psychopath in this situation is probably not going to admit to being a despicable, immature criminal on the very bottom of the culture! He'll just make something up; a job he might even know a little about. The occupation he comes up with for himself is probably not going to be the least prestigeous of the group, either. So.....just let them talk and build as much of a picture of themselves as they wish to. This will give you a wider array of information to verify. Then a little later in the conversation, you may wish to subtly question him to see what he actually knows about the occupation he claims to have; all the while being vigilant for signs of immaturity - ie, bathroom humor or ad hominem argument.

I'm not going to say that the following is indicative of psychopathy, since I've seen this trait in psychopaths as well as in non-psychopaths. I'm talking about the tendency to criticize without offering a better solution. For instance, this is seen in someone who criticizes your artwork, music or writing, but never creates anything himself. Or if someone criticizes the president's behavior, yet doesn't offer a better idea. They just sit there and criticize, maybe even insult, but will have nothing to offer, themselves. At any rate, this is a red flag for me to steer clear of such a person, as the negative energy will just flow and flow.

Imperfect Guestbook Entry Transfers:

Original guestbook entry numbers 1 and 24 have not yet been found on the backup copies. They will be entered exactly, if and when I find them. Number 1 was just a short welcome message from me. Number 24 was from a man who said his father was a psychopath and that Dad was also a guitar player who ran out of material soon. Just played the same chords over and over.

Translations:

I apologize if I offended any of my English readers' intelligence by providing links to dictionary definitions for very easy words. I did this because I noticed that some words don't translate at all; they are just left there in English amongst the target language - particularly noticeable amidst languages like Chinese, Japanese, Russian or Greek! On the other hand, some words are in fact mistranslated, and the link to the definition is then my attempt to compensate for the language machine's inaccuracy, assisting someone who's reading a translated copy of my work. The easy and mistranslated words/terms included: street smart, duping, by the way, out-of-control, manners, slob, positive, con, counter, smirky, prowling, battery, vessel, creepy, dead giveaway and kick-ass.

For an example of a mistranslated word (from English to German, Dec. 2013), I used the word "counter" as a verb, to speak contrary to something. However, the machine translated it as a noun, a counter, as in numbers! Also, I use the word "subjects" to refer to people of study. Yet, subjects is once translated as patients, implying I have a license to conduct psychotherapy, which is not the case. (Google has since fixed those two problems, yet still has the following one as of January, 2019:) "Subjects" used again to designate people of study is translated as themes! At least it's a noun. Finally, even my name at the bottom of the page is translated into German - employing the -sch spelling instead of the American -sh ending. So, if you ever wish to argue about something I write, please use the most recent, original English copy to go on! Thank you...and

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